Hugo James, 4 Months Old!

Dear Hugo,

You are such a delight.  Every month is my favorite month, and every phase is my favorite phase with you.  This month you have shown us your bubbly, chatty side!  You are still a laid back fellow (like your daddy), but these days you love talking, exploring your voice with tea kettle-like noises and really engaging with those around you.  Without fail, you are the chattiest boy in any baby class we go to.  We love this newfound social side of your personality and we are falling more in love with you every day.

Eating:  This month you've started to realize the world is way more fun than eating, and you've been quite the little snacker.  In fact, you decided this week you'd like to eat a little more an hour after you go to bed for the night.  You are still an excellent eater and your fat rolls are doing juuuuust fine.

Sleeping:  Thank you, thank you, Hugo, for the glorious sleep you give us at night and for naps.  You, my friend, love sleeping as much as your dad and I.  You are still sleeping from about 7:30pm-6:45am (amazing, we are so spoiled!), and napping 3-4 times per day.  It's been difficult to get you to go to sleep for the night--we are attributing this struggle to the insane amount of learning happening during the day. You are also the most adorable baby-waker-upper ever.  You are so giggly when we come get you out of your crib and you give us the most hammy smiles ever.  Cuteness.

Development:  So much is happening in this department (see funky eating and sleeping above)  In the last week, you went from "laziest fat baby hating tummy time" to "look at my future rock-hard-abs I'm kicking tummy time's ass".  It's so fun to watch you engage with yourself in the mirror and pass toys to yourself.  Speaking of that, you are reaching for lots of toys and love putting everything into your mouth.  Your favorite toys include Winston, the mirror, the Swish toy, and your thumb.  You are also getting closer to rolling over.  I imagine it will happen soon.  Your physical strength has been wonderful and is improving every day.

Miscellaneous:  You still love baths.  You hate being rolled over from tummy time onto your back.  You love when your dad tickles you and when your mom whispers into your ear.  You hate getting in and out of the carseat.  You love being rescued from your crib.


Hugo, this month has been a blast and we love you dearly!

Hugo James, Three Months Old!

Dear Hugo,

Cannot believe you’re three and a half months old!  Ben and I recently looked at some pictures of when I was pregnant, and it’s still so hard to believe that it was YOU in there, that whole time.  

Your personality is really starting to shine.  You are a very calm and serious fellow (like a little old man), but lately you’ve been giving us smiles and coos throughout the day.  You are still sleeping so well (seriously, 8pm-6:45am with 3+ good sized naps, are you trying to convince us not to have any more kids?!), and even with the occasional fuss and nap refusal, you are generally a very mellow little guy!

You are a big boy weighing in at 16.5 pounds, and are about 24 inches long.  (I’m sure these numbers have increased because you were measured and weighed a few weeks ago).  This month you went to the cardiologist to get your heart murmur checked out and you did great!  Your heart is healthy and the doctor says the murmur will fade away in time.

Your favorite times of day are waking up in the morning (you are a true morning lark like me and your grandpa Jim) and bath time. Maybe it’s because you can float in water and feel lighter in the bath than on land.  ;)

You love playing with your musical apple and looking at yourself and other people in the mirror.  It’s a gamble whether or not you enjoy the carseat, but you still love stroller walks with your dad.  

Today you had what I think I’ll call your first official laugh, which melted my heart completely.  You still have striking blue eyes and I wonder if they will change or stay this color.  

Things you currently hate?  Being put down and tummy time!

I can’t wait to see how the next month unfolds.  We love you so much, Hugo! 

Hugo, Two Months Old!

 

Hugo is two months old!  I am falling in love with this little person in ways that feel so primal and real to me, it's almost as if life before him lacked true intensity of the heart.  I knew I loved my husband, I knew I loved my family, but I didn't expect the intense feelings of both love and worry I have felt each day since his birth.

Hugo is full of wonder, and each day it feels as if his personality is developing more and more.  Cliche, but true- his smiles melt me. Someone so pure, so full of curiosity, is someone I want to have around.

Some things I want to remember this month:  His stronger neck strength.  His gurgling, "ooh" and "ahh" sounds, baby squeals, and chuckles in his sleep.  I love the smile he makes when he is cat napping as he goes into sleep so easily.  His furrowed brow.  The way dad and I try so hard to get one little smile out of him.  His newfound awareness of patterns and people around him.  The way he kicks his feet out when he's excited.  The way he submits to sleep on our shoulders. 

I could go on and on with the things I love about this boy.  I am so full of love and excited to watch him grow.  

 

Stream of thoughts and updates

 

Between caring for Hugo who is six weeks old (!!) and growth spurting, cleaning the house, beginning a home renovation process, and resting when I can, things have been so busy lately.  

I want the future to come and I want him to never leave this stage, all at the same time.  He finally showed us his gummy smile and it made my heart sing.  Things I want to remember-- how much he loves his changing table and making noises on it, the smell of his head, the way he flails his arms and legs when he's excited, seeing new fat rolls emerge every day, watching Ben rock him to sleep. All of these ordinary instances make up this pretty little life we have- we are so blessed.  

On the hormones front, every day brings more emotions than I thought possible to have.  Most days I'm really happy, loving this guy and the joy he brings to our family.  Many days, however, I am stricken with the worst anxiety ever.  I think it's pretty much a hybrid between my usual anxiety stuff but also feeling protective and on high alert as a new mom.  My wise sister reminds me to stay in the present moment, which is the most difficult and most necessary thing to do.  

For the most part, I've taken to motherhood in the way I thought I would, and I'm happy to report it's as fulfilling of a role as ever.  I'm learning to embrace change and transitions and accept that I have very little control.  The beauty of this lack of control, though, is that it brings complete spontaneity, hilarity, and joy.  And that's exactly how life should be.  

Hugo and Porter, coexisting.

 

 

One Month Old

I can't believe Hugo turned one month old on January 31!  Time races by yet I mark the days by two to three hour chunks of time in between feedings.  I suspected it during pregnancy (the little guy barely kicked), but Hugo is one mellow fellow.  (He's definitely Ben's child).  :) From two weeks old he spoiled us with 4-6 hour stretches of sleep at night and is an amazing eater.  He has been looking us in the eye during the last week and I keep suspecting a hint of a smile.  His personality is starting to reveal itself and I cannot wait to continue this adventure of getting to know him.  

Some of Hugo's favorite things:

The changing table.  A good poop (seriously, the relief on his face after he does it is pleasure in its purest form).  Making grunting noises in his sleep.  The first few minutes of a feeding.  A picture frame on the wall that he gazes at while being changed.  Being worn in the Ergo.  Peeing on the wall and on us. 

I feel like the luckiest lady in the world to spend my days with him.  Even on my worst days when I walk around the house like a zombie, I sit on the couch anxiously waiting for him to wake up so I can see him again.  

Milk Drunk.  

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. D

Dear Husband,
Right now you are washing dishes and dirty baby bottles as I leisurely sit on the couch writing this blog post.  There is a sleeping four week old whom you just rocked to sleep for his morning nap.  You go back to work tomorrow and in doing so make it possible for me to stay at home with this little babe.  While you were home with us, you mastered diaper changes, rocked and bounced Hugo until your back literally ached, tidied up the house, and did everything else imaginable to make our lives easier.  You did this with a positive attitude, laughter, and a love for us I don't know if I'll ever comprehend.  Your tender heart and selflessness inspire me to be a better human being and mother.  I'm going to miss you so, so much tomorrow when you go back to work.
When we first started dating I remember being embarrassed and nervous introducing you to my friends because you were "nerdy and weird".  A mere six years ago I was a much younger (in more ways than one) girl who cared too much about how others saw her. You were so wonderfully you- never trying to be someone else in front of others, never hiding your true nature.
When we meet new people now, I am so proud to call you my own, (albeit slightly embarrassed to be introduced as your wife because you are so wonderful and I worry that people will catch on.)   Your weirdness and quirks bewitch me and encompass my heart.  
Thank you for loving me back then and today, for being an amazing father, and for being you every single day.
Yours,
Bo

Dear Hugo

 

Dear Hugo,

You are 16 days old today.  I'm amazed we both survived the last two weeks---me, with adjusting to sleeping in short chunks and being a mother, and you, to adjusting to life outside the womb.  You are getting chubbier by the day and you love eating.  (You don't love latching on without a nipple shield, but we're getting there).  You are a champion sleeper and your dad and I feel lucky to set our phone alarms to wake you up for most feedings.  There are moments when I think you are looking me in the eye but I can't be sure.  

You look like a little old man trapped inside of an infant body and your faces and gestures are hilarious.  (See below).

Ben and I gut-laugh when you poop, fart, and burp, because we are amazed that someone so tiny could produce the most disgusting sounds.  It's pretty darn funny.

The day you entered this world, I didn't feel that instant connection some women feel to their children.  It's been a much less intense, more gradual process.  I love getting to know you and am loving you a little more each day.  I'm also falling more in love with your dad who is rocking the whole parenting thing.  

I'm excited for you to continue to reveal your personality to us, but right now I'm just trying to take in each moment with you and enjoy it.

Keep eating and pooping, 

Mom (Anna)